I have just learned how to ride the bike!
Yeah, it's a bit embarrassing to blog about it but I'm just ecstatic that at my age, I was still able to learn a new skill as basic as biking. I've made many attempts in the past to learn it but I guess I never followed it up. Or maybe I wasn't determined enough to want to do it. But just before I left for Cardiff, I made a resolution that yes, this time, no matter what it takes, I'm going to learn to ride the bike.
Perhaps it also helped that I shared this resolution with others. I attended a workshop at the Graduate Centre called 'Steps to Success', which was about being positive about yourself and moving towards your goals. There were only seven of us, all postgraduate students, in that workshop and despite our ages (ranging from 25 to 50) and interesting-sounding courses, I found out that all of us have many insecurities, fears, worries. There's Christine, a beautiful, accomplished architect from the Middle East on her third year of PhD talking about being afraid of failing. Except for one local, all of us were foreign students, all on our own, which probably explains why we're more vulnerable to negative thoughts.
Near the end of the two full-day workshop, we had to share personal goals that entailed moving out of our comfort zones or negative habits. One said 'I would learn to accept compliments more graciously' while, on my part - learn how to ride the bike! While my new friends were somewhat surprised that I didn't know this basic skill, they were all very encouraging and we promised to regularly meet and update each other on our progress.
With my secret out in the world, I knew I just had to do it. Last April, I bought a used bike with the help of my Welsh flatmate. And about two weeks after that, I got biking lessons from Y and H, two of my flatmates. 'Don't mind them' they kept telling me as they held the seat of the bike as I carefully balanced myself. 'I think it's amazing that you're doing this', H told me during one of our practices at Bute Park. The good thing about learning it here was that, people gave you space to do your thing. The Brits at the park would just look at us practising and they would just smile or walk past us. I'm thankful I had everything I needed for my 'project': I had time, friends who were willing to teach me, and an environment that gave me emotional space to learn.
Last Sunday, exactly one month from my last biking lesson, I learned to go off by myself, without no one pushing or holding the seat of my bike. I felt like I was flying! For the first two minutes after I took off, I was so overwhelmed I called out to J, another Pinay student who joined me that afternoon at the park. So this was how it feels like to finally learn what I've always wanted to do. I felt so alive - with all the colours and scents around me so vivid and strong.
I guess learning new skills, and learning new things in general, give you a sense of wonder that can't be captured by words. And so I've decided to create a new blog to mark a new sense of awakening in me. I can only be fully alive to the extent that I allow myself to embrace life. I know I will continue to have fears, but I will not be held prisoner by it. Beginning today, I will try to live life to the fullest, under all circumstances.
"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." - Mark Twain
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